That's what's on my mind these days as most of you know jed and I are expecting our first child in january. This Saturday ill be five months! Wow where has the time gone? Tuesday was my monthly appointment and it was sonogram time! Me jed mom dad my Gran and Jeds mom all piled into the little room to look at our baby and to find out what the gender of the little person is. Jed wanted a boy I didn't rlly care and I think my dad wanted a boy. I can't blame him he had to live with 3 girls plus a grown woman. He needs a man in his life. So you can imagine his and Jeds excitement when they said "boy". I teared up. Its a surreal feeling. Knowing that I am gonna have a son. That im gonna have a little boy of my very own. That im gonna be a mom. I still feel like a child and now I have to raise one. And then again I know ill do my best. And then I wonder what will he look like? Will he look like his daddy? All tanned skin and big brown eyes with white hair? Or will he look like me? What will he like to play with? Dinosaurs? Race cars? Will he be hyped up like his dad? These are just a few thoughts running through my mind. It feels right though. I know this little guy wasn't planned by jed and I but he must have been planned by god. I always prayed for the lord not to send me a baby until he was ready for me to have one. So I guess god just saw fit. He chose me to take care of a precious little boy. He picked him out just for me. I may not have seen his little face yet or know his cry but I love him whole heartedly. No body else can feel him moving right now except me. Nobody else can feed him right now except me. I already have a special little bond with him. Im his source of life. It's a really weird feeling but at the same time it's wonderful. Thank you lord for giving him to me and for blessing my life so beautifully. I think I have rambled enough for one day
much love
Rebecca
